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Navigating the Aftermath with Compassion and Care

The moments and days following a loved one’s suicide attempt will be incredibly difficult, confusing and overwhelming. You might be feeling a range of emotions, from shock and sadness to fear and anger. While your own feelings are valid, an important focus will be on providing a safe, supportive and non-judgmental environment for the person who is struggling.

We know those who have attempted recently in the past are more likely to try again, especially if they feel like they have “failed”.

This guide will walk you through the essential steps to take, from the immediate aftermath to long-term recovery. Remember, you don’t have to be a mental health professional to make a difference. Your presence, patience and compassion are the most powerful tools you have to be part of that ‘safety net’.

1. Prioritise Immediate Safety

The first and most critical step is to make sure your loved one has received Professional Medical Help and is in a safe environment. This may involve:

• Receiving (Physical) Medical Attention: If they have not already received medical attention, get them to a hospital or emergency room immediately. Physical health is the top priority, especially after an attempt because we can’t always see what damage has been done under the surface. Only a doctor or medic can determine risk-to-life in a medical setting.
• Remove Dangerous Items: In their home, remove or lock away any items that could be used for self-harm such as medications, sharp objects, or potentially firearms. This is a crucial safety measure for the initial recovery period. Do this discretely in order not to cause upset or offence.
• Constant Supervision: For the first few days or weeks, it’s vital to ensure they are not left alone. Arrange for family members or close friends to take turns being with them. This is not about surveillance; it’s about providing comfort and ensuring their safety around the clock. After the initial crisis and things settle, keeping doors open when in different rooms can begin to build mutual trust but also have privacy.

2. Communicate with Empathy, Not Judgment

After a suicide attempt, your loved one may feel immense shame, guilt and hopelessness.

Your words and actions can either help them heal or push them further away. This can be hard when you are overwhelmed by their attempt but it is important to hold onto the fact this is about a better tomorrow.

• Listen More Than You Talk: Create a space where they feel safe to share their feelings without interruption or judgment. Active listening shows them that you care about what they have to say.
• Validate Their Feelings: Instead of saying, “You have so much to live for”, try “I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I’m here for you.” Phrases like, “We will get through this together”, can be incredibly powerful.
• Avoid Blame or Guilt-Tripping: Never say, “How could you do this to us?” or “Don’t you know how much we love you?” These statements can increase their feelings of guilt and shame which can increase risk. Focus on the present and future. Instead, you could say, “I love you so much and I am going to be here all the way through”, helps you express your feelings without assigning blame.

3. Encourage and Support Professional Help

Professional mental health care is essential for long-term recovery. Your role is to be a supportive advocate, not a therapist.

• Help Them Access Professional Mental Health Care: Offer to help them research different types of mental health support in their local area. Help them schedule appointments with the GP or Community Mental Health Team because it can be very stressful trying to get through to them when you need their help. Even offer to give them a lift to an appointment so they don’t have to commute.
• Get to Know Their Triggers and Safety Plan: Avoid triggers (things that cause immediate distress) and get to know how they are keeping themselves safe day-to-day. If they are under some sort of professional help, they might have a ‘Care Plan’ or ‘Crisis / Safety Plan’ which is a document listing all the support available to them. Ask to be apart of its development or be an emergency contact.
• Attend Family Therapy: If a professional suggests it, consider participating in family therapy sessions. This can help address family dynamics and provide a healthier communication structure.

4. Focus on Long-Term Recovery

The path to recovery is not a straight line. There will be good days and bad days but your consistent support can make all the difference in the long term!

• Establish a Routine: Encourage them to re-engage with daily life by setting small, achievable goals, such as going for a walk, preparing a meal or participating in a hobby. This will keep their mind busy on other things.
• Promote Healthy Habits: A healthy body supports a healthy mind. Encourage them to get enough sleep, eat nutritious food and engage in gentle physical activity.
• Respect Their Privacy: While it’s important to be present, also respect their need for space. Don’t share their story with others without their explicit permission. They are the ones who get to decide who knows.