Conversing Care

Category: Mental Health Awareness

To help you understand and navigate difficult conversations, specially around mental health, wellbeing and suicide prevention.

  • Suicidal Texts & Messages: What to Say

    This guide will walk you through what to say to someone who is suicidal over text or message.

    It is difficult to receive a text or message when you know the person on the other side is in great distress. This can put a lot of pressure on you.

    We will help you understand how to be a lifeline in this moment and how to engage professional support if needed.

    Remember, you don’t need to be perfect in this situation. Being present and willing to listen and respond to difficult messages is brave enough.

    Proven Basics That Work

    • Take them seriously. Any expression of suicidal thoughts deserves care and attention.
    • Lead with empathy, not solutions. Listening comes before fixing.
    • Be calm and non-judgmental. Your tone can help reduce distress.
    • Encourage connection to help. You can support them and help them access professional care.

    What to Say: Supportive Messages That Help

    Use your own words but these examples can help get you started on a reply.

    1. Acknowledge their pain

    Let them know you hear and believe them.

    • “I’m really glad you told me. It sounds incredibly painful.”
    • “I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m here with you.”
    • “That sounds overwhelming. Thank you for trusting me.”

    2. Invite them to share more

    Open-ended questions help them feel less alone.

    • “Do you want to tell me what’s been going on?”
    • “What’s been the hardest so far today?”
    • “When did these feelings start?”

    3. Validate without agreeing with hopelessness

    You can validate feelings without validating the idea that things can’t change.

    • “Given everything you’ve been dealing with, it makes sense you feel this way.”
    • “I hear how exhausted you are. Anyone in your situation would struggle.”

    4. Express care and presence

    Remind them they matter to you.

    • “I care about you and I’m glad you’re here.”
    • “You’re not a burden for talking about this to me.”
    • “I’m here to listen as long as you need.”

    5. Gently check on safety

    Asking directly does not put ideas in someone’s head. You need clarity.

    • “Are you feeling safe right now?”
    • “Have you had thoughts about hurting yourself today?”
    • “Are you self-harming at the moment?”

    If they say they’re in danger or you’re unsure, move to the “When to seek urgent help” section below 👇

    6. Encourage support and next steps

    Offer help connecting to others or professionals.

    • “Would you be open to reaching out to someone who can help right now?”
    • “Is there someone you trust who could be with you?”
    • “We could look at options together — like a helpline or text service.”

    Find better ways of coping

    Explore our wellbeing guides and coping strategies to find alternative and healthier ways of coping.

    Visit Coping Tools

    What Not to Say (And Why)

    Certain responses, even when well-intended, can feel dismissive or increase shame. This increases risk.

    • “Everything happens for a reason.” Can minimise their pain.
    • “Others have it worse.” Comparisons invalidate feelings.
    • “Just stay positive.” Oversimplifies difficult feelings.
    • “You should…” or “Have you tried…” Advice can feel overwhelming very early on.
    • Threats or guilt: “Your family would be devastated.” This can increase pressure.

    When to Seek Urgent Help

    If the person:

    • Says they are in immediate danger
    • Has a plan or intent to harm themselves
    • Stops responding after expressing risk

    Act quickly. Encourage them to contact emergency services or a crisis line.

    • If you know their location and believe they’re in immediate danger, contact their local emergency services yourself and explain the conversation you have had with them.

    You can text them something like:

    • “I’m really worried about you. I think getting immediate help could keep you safe. Can we contact [a helpline / emergency services] together?”

    If They Don’t Want Help

    Resistance is common. Stay compassionate and keep the door open.

    • “I get that reaching out feels hard. I’m still here with you.”
    • “What would make it feel even a little safer right now?”
    • “Would it help to just sit together on text for a bit?”

    After The Conversation, Take Care of You

    Supporting someone in crisis can be emotionally draining.

    • Check in with a trusted friend or professional. Make sure you speak to someone too.
    • Set gentle boundaries if you’re feeling overwhelmed. It’s okay to arrange future conversations rather than messages popping out of the blue.
    • Remember: you didn’t cause their pain, and you can’t fix it alone.

    ✋ Are you struggling right now?

    If you or someone else is feeling unsafe or experiencing suicidal thinking, please visit the Urgent Help page now to find what actions you need to take.

    Final thoughts

    Your willingness to listen can make a real difference.

    Even simple, caring messages can help someone feel less isolated in their darkest moments.

    If you’re ever unsure what to do, reaching out for professional guidance — for them or for yourself — is a strong and caring step.

    Immediate Support & Resources

    In an emergency, call 999.

    If you or someone else is experiencing a mental health crisis, visit our Urgent Help page to find the right help at the right time.

    For coping strategies and additional resources, visit the Resource Hub.

    Find ways on How to Talk About Suicidal Thoughts.

    Find out How to Support Someone Who is Having Suicidal Thoughts.

    NHS 111 (Select Mental Health Option)

    • Call: 111 and select the mental health option (Option 2 in some areas).
    • What it’s for: Urgent mental health support, advice and connection to local crisis services. This is a primary point of contact if you’re experiencing a mental health crisis but are not in immediate physical danger.
    • Note: If you are deaf or have hearing loss, use NHS 111 – SignVideo or dial 18001 111 (for Textphone).

    Samaritans

    • Call: 116 123 (Free, 24/7)
    • Email: jo@samaritans.org (Response within 24 hours)
    • What it’s for: Confidential emotional support for anyone experiencing feelings of distress, despair or suicidal thoughts.

    Shout Crisis Text Line

    • Text: Send the word “SHOUT” to 85258 (Free, 24/7)
    • What it’s for: Confidential text-based support if you’re in crisis and need immediate help.

    PAPYRUS HOPELINE247

    • Call: 0800 068 4141 (Free, 24/7)
    • Text: 88247 (Free, 24/7)
    • Email: pat@papyrus-uk.org
    • What it’s for: Support for young people (under 35) struggling with suicidal feelings or anyone concerned about a young person who might be struggling.

    Childline

    • Call: 0800 1111 (The number won’t appear on your phone bill)
    • What it’s for: Free, confidential support for children and young people.

  • How to be Emotionally Supportive

    A Guide for When it Matters Most

    When someone you care about is struggling, it can be hard to know what to say or do.

    Many people fear saying the wrong thing but often, what matters most isn’t perfect words — it’s presence, compassion and a willingness to listen.

    This guide will help you understand what emotional support truly looks like and how you can offer it when it’s needed most.

    1. Start With Genuine Presence

    Emotional support begins with showing up.

    Being present, physically or emotionally, communicates, “You’re not alone.”

    Try:

    • Putting away distractions and giving your full attention to a conversation.
    • Offering a calm, reassuring presence. Offer to sit down, get comfortable and talk openly.
    • Listen more than you talk. Ask open ended questions like, “How are you” or “What do you think of the weather today”, to get the conversation started.

    Being present and listening to someone is often more powerful than any advice you give.

    2. Listen Actively and Without Judgment

    People need space to express their feelings without fear of being dismissed or criticised.

    Practice active listening by:

    • Allowing them to talk at their own pace.
    • Reflecting back what you hear, “It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed.”, “Do you have these thoughts/feelings often?”
    • Avoiding interruptions or attempts to “fix” the problem right away.

    When someone feels heard, they feel valued.

    3. Validate Their Feelings

    Validation helps others feel understood and supported. It doesn’t require you to agree with their perspective — only to acknowledge it.

    Examples of validating statements:

    • “That sounds really difficult.”
    • “Given what you’re dealing with, it makes sense you’d feel this way.”
    • “I can see why this would be upsetting.”

    Avoid minimising feelings with statements like (“You’re overreacting,” “It could be worse,” “Just be positive!”).

    4. Ask What They Need

    Assumptions can create frustration. Instead, support the conversation along by asking what kind of help they want right now.

    You might ask:

    • “Would you like advice, or do you just want to vent?”
    • “How can I be here for you today?”
    • “Is there something specific you need?”

    Empowering someone to name their needs helps them feel more in control during difficult times.

    5. Respect Their Boundaries

    Sometimes the most supportive thing you can do is give space. Respect when someone needs time to themselves or isn’t ready to talk.

    Remember:

    • Boundaries are not rejections.
    • Pushing for conversation can create pressure, not comfort.
    • Let them know you’re available whenever they’re ready.

    Healthy boundaries strengthen trust.

    6. Offer Practical Help When Appropriate

    Emotional support sometimes includes easing daily burdens.

    You could offer:

    • Help with errands or meals
    • A ride to appointments
    • Assistance with scheduling or paperwork
    • Taking a walk together

    Concrete support can reduce stress and help someone focus on meeting their needs.

    Find better ways of coping

    Explore our wellbeing guides and coping strategies to find alternative and healthier ways of coping.

    Visit Coping Tools

    7. Avoid Toxic Positivity

    Well-meant but overly simplistic reassurance can make people feel misunderstood.

    Instead of:

    • “Just stay positive!”
    • “Everything happens for a reason.”
    • “It’s not that bad.”

    Try:

    • “This is really tough and I’m here with you.”
    • “Your feelings make sense.”
    • “You don’t have to pretend you’re okay.”

    Support isn’t about boosting mood — it’s about honoring truth.

    8. Encourage Professional Support When Needed

    Emotional support is valuable but it’s not a substitute for appropriate mental health care.

    Gently encourage professional help if you notice:

    • Persistent hopelessness
    • Sudden withdrawal
    • Trouble performing daily tasks
    • Expressions of self-harm or suicidal thoughts

    You might say:

    “You deserve support from someone trained to help with this. I can help you find a therapist if you’d like.”

    If someone is in immediate danger, contact emergency services right away.

    ✋ Are you struggling right now?

    If you or someone else is feeling unsafe or experiencing suicidal thinking, please visit the Urgent Help page now to find what actions you need to take.

    9. Take Care of Yourself, Too

    Supporting someone emotionally can be draining. It’s essential to protect your own wellbeing.

    Try:

    • Setting your own boundaries
    • Taking time to rest and recharge
    • Reaching out for support for yourself
    • Remembering it’s okay not to have all the answers

    You can’t pour from an empty cup.

    10. Show Long-Term Support

    Healing isn’t linear. People often need support weeks or months after a crisis.

    You can show ongoing care through:

    • Follow-up messages
    • Remembering important dates
    • Checking in after stressful events
    • Consistent, gentle presence

    Small acts of kindness add up — and they matter.

    Final Thoughts

    Emotional support is about connection, not perfection. You don’t need special training to be there for someone — you only need empathy, patience and a willingness to listen.

    When you show up with compassion, you help create a world where people feel seen, heard and cared for.

    If you or someone you know is struggling, reaching out for help is a sign of strength. No one has to face difficult moments alone.

    Volunteers Needed!

    As a start-up, we’re looking for both local and international volunteers who can deliver our support services or help promote our prevention campaign.

    Find Out More

    Immediate Support & Resources

    In an emergency, call 999.

    If you or someone else is experiencing a mental health crisis, visit our Urgent Help page to find the right help at the right time.

    For coping strategies and additional resources, visit the Resource Hub.

    Find ways on How to Talk About Suicidal Thoughts.

    Find out How to Support Someone Who is Having Suicidal Thoughts.

    NHS 111 (Select Mental Health Option)

    • Call: 111 and select the mental health option (Option 2 in some areas).
    • What it’s for: Urgent mental health support, advice and connection to local crisis services. This is a primary point of contact if you’re experiencing a mental health crisis but are not in immediate physical danger.
    • Note: If you are deaf or have hearing loss, use NHS 111 – SignVideo or dial 18001 111 (for Textphone).

    Samaritans

    • Call: 116 123 (Free, 24/7)
    • Email: jo@samaritans.org (Response within 24 hours)
    • What it’s for: Confidential emotional support for anyone experiencing feelings of distress, despair or suicidal thoughts.

    Shout Crisis Text Line

    • Text: Send the word “SHOUT” to 85258 (Free, 24/7)
    • What it’s for: Confidential text-based support if you’re in crisis and need immediate help.

    PAPYRUS HOPELINE247

    • Call: 0800 068 4141 (Free, 24/7)
    • Text: 88247 (Free, 24/7)
    • Email: pat@papyrus-uk.org
    • What it’s for: Support for young people (under 35) struggling with suicidal feelings or anyone concerned about a young person who might be struggling.

    Childline

    • Call: 0800 1111 (The number won’t appear on your phone bill)
    • What it’s for: Free, confidential support for children and young people.
  • How to Recover After a Suicide Attempt

    How to Recover After a Suicide Attempt

    Recovering from a suicide attempt is not easy but is possible — and you do not have to face it alone.

    Surviving such a painful experience can bring up a mix of emotions: relief, guilt, confusion, fear, anger, or even numbness. All of these feelings are valid.

    Healing takes time, care and support. This guide offers gentle steps to help you begin that journey toward safety, recovery and hope.

    ✋ Are you struggling right now?

    If you or someone else is feeling unsafe or experiencing suicidal thinking, please visit the Urgent Help page now to find what actions you need to take.

    1. Make Safety the First Priority

    • Immediately after a suicide attempt, go straight to A&E at your local hospital or call 999.
    • It is impossible to know what physical damage could be under the surface until you have been medically assessed by a Doctor.
    • Once the crisis has passed, talk with someone you trust — a friend, family member, or professional — about creating a safety plan. This might include removing means of self-harm, listing coping strategies and identifying who to contact in an emergency.

    2. Seek Professional Support

    A suicide attempt is often a sign of unbearable emotional pain, not failure. Professional help can make a profound difference.

    • Therapists or counsellors can help you understand what led to the attempt and develop new ways to manage distress.
    • Psychiatrists or GPs can assess for depression, anxiety, trauma or other mental health conditions and provide treatment options.
    • Support groups (online or in person) offer connection with others who have been through similar experiences.

    Recovery is rarely a straight line — there may be setbacks and that’s okay.

    Consistent support helps you stay connected to the right people and additional services if needed.

    3. Take Small Steps Toward Something Small

    Your body and mind have been through something rough. Give yourself permission to rest and recover.

    • Establish a routine: Simple things like eating, sleeping and showering regularly can help restore stability.
    • Be kind to yourself: Try to notice moments of self-blame and replace them with gentle understanding. You survived something incredibly painful.
    • Set small, achievable goals: Healing might start with getting out of bed, going for a walk or calling a friend. Each step matters.

    4. Reconnect and Rebuild

    Isolation can deepen despair. Rebuilding connections — even slowly — can help you find a sense of meaning again.

    • Spend time with people who you trust and make you feel safe.
    • Engage in activities that bring you even a small sense of calm or purpose.
    • If relationships were strained by the attempt, consider involving a therapist to improve communication.

    5. Find Meaning and Hope

    Many people who have survived suicide attempts later describe a renewed sense of purpose. Hope might not appear right away but it can grow gradually through:

    • Volunteering or helping others.
    • Creative outlets like art, writing or music.
    • Spiritual or community involvement.
    • Sharing your story when you feel ready.

    You are not defined by your attempt — you are defined by your courage to keep going.

    6. Remember: Recovery Is Ongoing

    There’s no fixed timeline for healing. Some days will be harder than others. When you struggle, try to remind yourself: you are still here and that means hope is still possible. Reaching out again and again — for help, for connection, for care — is a sign of strength, not weakness.

    If You Need Immediate Help

    You are not alone. There are people who care deeply about you and want to help you stay safe and find your way forward.

    Immediate Support & Resources

    In an emergency, call 999.

    If you or someone else is experiencing a mental health crisis, visit our Urgent Help page to find the right help at the right time.

    For coping strategies and additional resources, visit the Resource Hub.

    Find ways on How to Talk About Suicidal Thoughts.

    Find out How to Support Someone Who is Having Suicidal Thoughts.

    NHS 111 (Select Mental Health Option)

    • Call: 111 and select the mental health option (Option 2 in some areas).
    • What it’s for: Urgent mental health support, advice and connection to local crisis services. This is a primary point of contact if you’re experiencing a mental health crisis but are not in immediate physical danger.
    • Note: If you are deaf or have hearing loss, use NHS 111 – SignVideo or dial 18001 111 (for Textphone).

    Samaritans

    • Call: 116 123 (Free, 24/7)
    • Email: jo@samaritans.org (Response within 24 hours)
    • What it’s for: Confidential emotional support for anyone experiencing feelings of distress, despair or suicidal thoughts.

    Shout Crisis Text Line

    • Text: Send the word “SHOUT” to 85258 (Free, 24/7)
    • What it’s for: Confidential text-based support if you’re in crisis and need immediate help.

    PAPYRUS HOPELINE247

    • Call: 0800 068 4141 (Free, 24/7)
    • Text: 88247 (Free, 24/7)
    • Email: pat@papyrus-uk.org
    • What it’s for: Support for young people (under 35) struggling with suicidal feelings or anyone concerned about a young person who might be struggling.

    Childline

    • Call: 0800 1111 (The number won’t appear on your phone bill)
    • What it’s for: Free, confidential support for children and young people.
  • Supporting a Loved One After a Suicide Attempt

    Supporting a Loved One After a Suicide Attempt

    Navigating the Aftermath with Compassion and Care

    The moments and days following a loved one’s suicide attempt will be incredibly difficult, confusing and overwhelming. You might be feeling a range of emotions, from shock and sadness to fear and anger. While your own feelings are valid, an important focus will be on providing a safe, supportive and non-judgmental environment for the person who is struggling.

    We know those who have attempted recently in the past are more likely to try again, especially if they feel like they have “failed”.

    This guide will walk you through the essential steps to take, from the immediate aftermath to long-term recovery. Remember, you don’t have to be a mental health professional to make a difference. Your presence, patience and compassion are the most powerful tools you have to be part of that ‘safety net’.

    ✋ Are you struggling right now?

    If you or someone else is feeling unsafe or experiencing suicidal thinking, please visit the Urgent Help page now to find what actions you need to take.

    1. Prioritise Immediate Safety

    The first and most critical step is to make sure your loved one has received Professional Medical Help and is in a safe environment. This may involve:

    • Receiving (Physical) Medical Attention: If they have not already received medical attention, get them to a hospital or emergency room immediately. Physical health is the top priority, especially after an attempt because we can’t always see what damage has been done under the surface. Only a doctor or medic can determine risk-to-life in a medical setting.
    • Remove Dangerous Items: In their home, remove or lock away any items that could be used for self-harm such as medications, sharp objects, or potentially firearms. This is a crucial safety measure for the initial recovery period. Do this discretely in order not to cause upset or offence.
    • Constant Supervision: For the first few days or weeks, it’s vital to ensure they are not left alone. Arrange for family members or close friends to take turns being with them. This is not about surveillance; it’s about providing comfort and ensuring their safety around the clock. After the initial crisis and things settle, keeping doors open when in different rooms can begin to build mutual trust but also have privacy.

    2. Communicate with Empathy, Not Judgment

    After a suicide attempt, your loved one may feel immense shame, guilt and hopelessness.

    Your words and actions can either help them heal or push them further away. This can be hard when you are overwhelmed by their attempt but it is important to hold onto the fact this is about a better tomorrow.

    • Listen More Than You Talk: Create a space where they feel safe to share their feelings without interruption or judgment. Active listening shows them that you care about what they have to say.
    • Validate Their Feelings: Instead of saying, “You have so much to live for”, try “I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I’m here for you.” Phrases like, “We will get through this together”, can be incredibly powerful.
    • Avoid Blame or Guilt-Tripping: Never say, “How could you do this to us?” or “Don’t you know how much we love you?” These statements can increase their feelings of guilt and shame which can increase risk. Focus on the present and future. Instead, you could say, “I love you so much and I am going to be here all the way through”, helps you express your feelings without assigning blame.

    3. Encourage and Support Professional Help

    Professional mental health care is essential for long-term recovery. Your role is to be a supportive advocate, not a therapist.

    • Help Them Access Professional Mental Health Care: Offer to help them research different types of mental health support in their local area. Help them schedule appointments with the GP or Community Mental Health Team because it can be very stressful trying to get through to them when you need their help. Even offer to give them a lift to an appointment so they don’t have to commute.
    • Get to Know Their Triggers and Safety Plan: Avoid triggers (things that cause immediate distress) and get to know how they are keeping themselves safe day-to-day. If they are under some sort of professional help, they might have a ‘Care Plan’ or ‘Crisis / Safety Plan’ which is a document listing all the support available to them. Ask to be apart of its development or be an emergency contact.
    • Attend Family Therapy: If a professional suggests it, consider participating in family therapy sessions. This can help address family dynamics and provide a healthier communication structure.

    Find better ways of coping

    Explore our wellbeing guides and coping strategies to find alternative and healthier ways of coping.

    Visit Coping Tools

    4. Focus on Long-Term Recovery

    The path to recovery is not a straight line. There will be good days and bad days but your consistent support can make all the difference in the long term!

    • Establish a Routine: Encourage them to re-engage with daily life by setting small, achievable goals, such as going for a walk, preparing a meal or participating in a hobby. This will keep their mind busy on other things.
    • Promote Healthy Habits: A healthy body supports a healthy mind. Encourage them to get enough sleep, eat nutritious food and engage in gentle physical activity.
    • Respect Their Privacy: While it’s important to be present, also respect their need for space. Don’t share their story with others without their explicit permission. They are the ones who get to decide who knows.

    Remember: You matter too

    In an average life time, we will have to support 2 people experiencing a mental health emergency. You are not alone in this.

    By offering your presence, listening and connecting them with professional help, you can play a vital role in their journey towards healing and recovery.

    Don’t hesitate to reach out for support for yourself as well. Your wellbeing matters too.

    Immediate Support & Resources

    In an emergency, call 999.

    If you or someone else is experiencing a mental health crisis, visit our Urgent Help page to find the right help at the right time.

    For coping strategies and additional resources, visit the Resource Hub.

    Find ways on How to Talk About Suicidal Thoughts.

    Find out How to Support Someone Who is Having Suicidal Thoughts.

    NHS 111 (Select Mental Health Option)

    • Call: 111 and select the mental health option (Option 2 in some areas).
    • What it’s for: Urgent mental health support, advice and connection to local crisis services. This is a primary point of contact if you’re experiencing a mental health crisis but are not in immediate physical danger.
    • Note: If you are deaf or have hearing loss, use NHS 111 – SignVideo or dial 18001 111 (for Textphone).

    Samaritans

    • Call: 116 123 (Free, 24/7)
    • Email: jo@samaritans.org (Response within 24 hours)
    • What it’s for: Confidential emotional support for anyone experiencing feelings of distress, despair or suicidal thoughts.

    Shout Crisis Text Line

    • Text: Send the word “SHOUT” to 85258 (Free, 24/7)
    • What it’s for: Confidential text-based support if you’re in crisis and need immediate help.

    PAPYRUS HOPELINE247

    • Call: 0800 068 4141 (Free, 24/7)
    • Text: 88247 (Free, 24/7)
    • Email: pat@papyrus-uk.org
    • What it’s for: Support for young people (under 35) struggling with suicidal feelings or anyone concerned about a young person who might be struggling.

    Childline

    • Call: 0800 1111 (The number won’t appear on your phone bill)
    • What it’s for: Free, confidential support for children and young people.

  • How to Support Someone Who is Having Suicidal Thoughts

    It can be incredibly distressing and overwhelming to learn that someone you care about is having thoughts of suicide.

    You might feel a mix of fear, confusion, and helplessness. However, your support can make a profound difference.

    This page provides a template for how to approach and support someone “feeling suicidal” or “having suicidal thoughts”.

    Understanding the Situation: What You Need to Know

    • Suicidal thoughts are a sign of intense pain, not a weakness: People experiencing suicidal thoughts are often overwhelmed by their circumstances and may feel there’s no other way out from the pain they’re in.
    • Talking about suicide does NOT plant the idea: In fact, open and non-judgmental communication can be a crucial first step towards help and navigating a way forward with them.
    • You don’t need to be a Professional Therapist: Your role is to be supportive, listen and help connect them with professional help. Our Urgent Help guide can be used to find the right help at the right time for someone struggling with their mental health.
    • Take all threats seriously. Never dismiss or minimise someone’s expressions of suicidal or high risk-tasking behaviour.

    ✋ Are you struggling right now?

    If you or someone else is feeling unsafe or experiencing suicidal thinking, please visit the Urgent Help page now to find what actions you need to take.

    Immediate Steps: What To Do Right Now

    1. Stay Calm (as much as possible): Your calm demeanour can help ground the person. Take a deep breath.
    2. Ensure Safety:
      • If there is immediate danger (they have a plan and the means): Do not leave them alone. Call 999 or take them straight to A&E. Remove any potential means of self-harm if it’s safe to do so.
      • If there is no immediate danger but they are expressing suicidal thoughts: Proceed to the next steps while remaining vigilant.
    3. Initiate a Conversation: Find a private, quiet space to talk. If you know the person, talk to them as you usually would, keeping in mind you are here to support them.

    How to Talk to Someone About Their Suicidal Thoughts

    There is no easy way around this. If you have genuine concerns around someone’s safety, you need to have the difficult conversation with them.

    Here are some examples to get you started. Remember, be yourself.

    Be Direct but Gentle

    • “I’ve noticed you seem really down lately and I’m worried about you. Are you having thoughts of ending your life?”
    • “It sounds like you’re going through a lot. Have you been thinking of suicide?”

    Listen Actively and Non-Judgmentally

    • Let them speak without interruption.
    • Validate their feelings: “That sounds incredibly painful,” or “I can see why you feel that way.”
    • Avoid sayings, like “Look on the bright side” or “It will all get better.”
    • Show empathy: “I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for you but I want you to know I’m here.”

    Express Care and Concern

    • “I care about you and I want to help the best I can.”
    • “You’re important to me and I want you to be safe.”

    Offer Hope (Gently)

    • “Even though things are overwhelming right now, there is help available and things can get better and change.”
    • “You don’t have to go through this alone.”

    Focus on Solutions and Support

    • “What do you think would help right now?”
    • “Let’s figure out a plan together.”
    • “Shall we speak to a health professional and see what they have to say?”

    Connect Them With Professional Help

    This is critical. You are not expected to solve their problems but to help them remain safe in the moment and line them up with professional help.

    Encourage Professional Help

    • “It sounds like you’re carrying a heavy burden. A professional can offer tools and support to help you through this.”
    • “Would you be willing to talk to a doctor, therapist or crisis team?”

    Offer to Help Them Make Connection With a Professional

    • “Can I help you find mental health support in the area?”
    • “Would you like me to sit with you while you call crisis team?”
    • “I can go with you to your doctor’s appointment if that would help.”

    Know Your Local and National Support Services

    In an emergency, Call 999 or take them straight to the nearest A&E department.

    Great Google Search Terms to Find Help Quickly

    • “NHS mental health services (in your area)”
    • “Local mental health support”
    • “Crisis Hotline”
    • “Suicide prevention”

    Crisis Numbers Provided Below 👇

    What to Do After the Initial Conversation

    • Follow Up: Arrange and stick to talking to them again. A simple text or call can show you still care.
    • Encourage Self-Care: Remind them of healthy coping strategies. Remember the basics of sleep, nutrition, exercise, hobbies.
    • Maintain Boundaries: While you want to be supportive, it’s important not to become their sole source of support. Encourage them to rely on professionals and other supportive relationships.
    • Seek Support for Yourself: Supporting someone with suicidal thoughts can be emotionally taxing, specially over time. Make sure you have someone you can communicate your concerns too.
      • Talk to a trusted friend or family member.
      • Consider speaking with a therapist or counsellor yourself.
      • Remember, you cannot pour from an empty cup.

    Find better ways of coping

    Explore our wellbeing guides and coping strategies to find alternative and healthier ways of coping.

    Visit Coping Tools

    Warning Signs to Look Out For

    While direct communication is key, be aware of these potential warning signs that someone may be contemplating suicide.

    Communication Changes

    • Talking about wanting to die or kill themselves.
    • Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live.
    • Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain.
    • Talking about being a burden to others.

    Social Interaction Changes

    • Acting anxious, agitated or reckless.
    • Withdrawing from social engagements or feeling isolated when with other people.
    • Saying goodbye to friends, family and pets.
    • Significant changes in online behaviour.
    • Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge.

    Physical and Behaviour Changes

    • Looking for ways to harm themselves (buying a weapons or looking for ways to hurt themselves).
    • Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs.
    • Sleeping too little or too much.
    • Displaying extreme mood swings.
    • Giving away prized possessions.

    Remember: You Are Not Alone

    Supporting someone who is having suicidal thoughts is a challenging but crucial act of compassion.

    In an average life time, we will have to support 2 people experiencing a mental health emergency.

    By offering your presence, listening and connecting them with professional help, you can play a vital role in their journey towards healing and recovery.

    Don’t hesitate to reach out for support for yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

    Get in Touch

    If eligible, you can contact us for free and confidential emotional support via email and social media.

    Immediate Support & Resources

    In an emergency, call 999.

    If you or someone else is experiencing a mental health crisis, visit our Urgent Help page to find the right help at the right time.

    For coping strategies and additional resources, visit the Resource Hub.

    Find ways on How to Talk About Suicidal Thoughts.

    Find out How to Support Someone After a Suicide Attempt: A Step-by-Step Guide for Loved Ones.

    NHS 111 (Select Mental Health Option)

    • Call: 111 and select the mental health option (Option 2 in some areas).
    • What it’s for: Urgent mental health support, advice and connection to local crisis services. This is a primary point of contact if you’re experiencing a mental health crisis but are not in immediate physical danger.
    • Note: If you are deaf or have hearing loss, use NHS 111 – SignVideo or dial 18001 111 (for Textphone).

    Samaritans

    • Call: 116 123 (Free, 24/7)
    • Email: jo@samaritans.org (Response within 24 hours)
    • What it’s for: Confidential emotional support for anyone experiencing feelings of distress, despair or suicidal thoughts.

    Shout Crisis Text Line

    • Text: Send the word “SHOUT” to 85258 (Free, 24/7)
    • What it’s for: Confidential text-based support if you’re in crisis and need immediate help.

    PAPYRUS HOPELINE247

    • Call: 0800 068 4141 (Free, 24/7)
    • Text: 88247 (Free, 24/7)
    • Email: pat@papyrus-uk.org
    • What it’s for: Support for young people (under 35) struggling with suicidal feelings or anyone concerned about a young person who might be struggling.

    Childline

    • Call: 0800 1111 (The number won’t appear on your phone bill)
    • What it’s for: Free, confidential support for children and young people.
  • How to Talk About Suicidal Thoughts?

    How to Talk About Suicidal Thoughts?

    Suicidal Thoughts: Where to start…

    If you’re reading this, it means you’re carrying an immense weight. It means you’re bravely seeking a way to articulate the unbearable pain you’re feeling, even the terrifying thoughts of suicide. Just by being here, you’ve taken an incredibly courageous and vital step forward in a new direction.

    Thinking about suicide can feel like being trapped in a dark, silent void. The shame, fear and hopelessness can make it seem impossible to speak out, convincing you that no one will understand or that you’ll be a burden. This isolation only amplifies the pain.

    But here’s the truth: You are not alone in these feelings and you don’t have to carry this burden by yourself. Talking about suicidal thoughts, no matter how terrifying it seems, is the most crucial step towards finding relief, support and ultimately a path to alternative solutions. It’s a sign of immense strength, not weakness, to reach out when you’re in such profound pain.

    This guide is here to help you find your voice. We’ll walk you through why talking is so important, how to prepare, who to talk too, what to say and what to expect. Our deepest hope is by reading this will empower you to take that courageous step towards connection and recovery.

    ✋ Are you struggling right now?

    If you or someone else is feeling unsafe or experiencing suicidal thinking, please visit the Urgent Help page now to find what actions you need to take.

    Why Talking About It..Helps.

    • Breaking the Isolation: Suicidal thoughts thrive in secrecy. Talking about them immediately disrupts that isolation. It lets light into the darkness and reminds you that you are connected to others who care.
    • Validation and Understanding: When you voice your pain, it becomes real and valid. It allows others to acknowledge your suffering and respond with empathy, which can be incredibly relieving.
    • Accessing Life-Saving Help: Talking opens the door to professional help – therapists, doctors, crisis support – who have the expertise and resources to help you navigate these intense feelings and build a path forward.
    • Releasing the Burden: Holding onto suicidal thoughts can be incredibly heavy. Sharing them, even just a little, can provide a significant sense of relief, like taking a huge weight off your shoulders.
    • Dispelling Myths: Many people worry that talking about suicide will make it worse or “give someone the idea”. For the person experiencing suicidal thoughts, this worry can be reversed: you might fear that talking about it will burden others or lead to judgment. The opposite is true. Open communication is proven to reduce risk and lead to recovery.

    Get in Touch

    If eligible, you can contact us for free and confidential emotional support via email and social media.

    Before You Talk: Prepare for the Conversation

    Understand that this is one of the hardest things you might ever do and that makes your willingness to consider it, incredibly brave. Give yourself credit.

    There’s no ‘perfect’ time but choose a moment when you feel a tiny bit of readiness to share, even if it’s just a flicker of hope. You don’t have to be ‘okay’ to talk; you just need to be willing to try.

    What You Don’t Need to Do!

    • Have all the answers: You don’t need to explain why you feel this way or have a solution. Just sharing the feelings can be enough.
    • Be articulate or eloquent: You don’t need perfect words. Short, honest statements are powerful.
    • Worry about ‘burdening’ someone: People who care about you want to know and want to help. Your wellbeing and safety is not a burden.
    • Consider What You Want: What do you need in this moment? To be listened to? To feel less alone? To find professional help? Having a loose idea can help guide you but it’s okay if you just want to talk.
    • Write it Down (Optional but Helpful): If speaking feels too difficult, consider writing down what you want to say in a note, text, or email. This can make the initial step less daunting.

    Find better ways of coping

    Explore our wellbeing guides and coping strategies to find alternative and healthier ways of coping.

    Visit Coping Tools

    Who Can You Talk To About Suicidal Thoughts?

    It’s about finding someone safe, empathetic and willing to listen and help you.

    Crisis Hotlines & Emergency Services

    • When to use: If you are feeling overwhelmed right now and need to talk immediately, or if you have a plan and intend to act on it. These services are available 24/7, are confidential and are staffed by trained professionals.
    • Staffed by trained professionals: Don’t worry how they feel. They are trained to listen to the facts and respond accordingly.
    • You can remain anonymous: With some Crisis Hotlines, you don’t need to tell them your personal details and you can use a different name.

    Trusted Friends or Family Members

    • Think: Who in your life makes you feel safe? Who has shown you consistent kindness and empathy?
    • Consider their capacity: While they care, they might not know exactly what to do or say. Your role is to share your feelings and their role is to listen and support you in finding help.

    Mental Health Professionals (Therapists, Counsellors, Psychiatrists)

    • They are experts: They are specifically trained to help people with suicidal thoughts.
    • Confidentiality: What you share with them is, confidential — with exceptions for immediate danger.
    • They can help you develop a safety plan.

    Your GP or Doctor

    • First point of contact: Your GP can be a great first step. They can listen, assess your needs and refer you to specialist mental health services, medication or talking therapy.
    • Familiarity: You might already have a relationship with your GP or know the buildings location well, making it feel more trusted.

    Spiritual or Community Leader

    • If you have a strong connection to a faith or community, a trusted leader might provide compassionate listening and guidance.

    Conversing Care

    • Our mission is to provide a safe space to chat, connect and find meaning in peer-to-peer and emotional support.
    • One Safe Space we offer is the Community Mental Health Forum. Anonymous support from trained volunteers and community members.

    What to Say: Finding the Words

    You don’t need fancy words. Honesty and simplicity is more than enough.

    Here are some examples to begin a conversation around experiencing suicidal thoughts.

    Be Direct: Using the word “suicide” is okay

    • “I’ve been having suicidal thoughts.”
    • “I’m feeling so much pain that I’ve been thinking about ending my life.”
    • “I’m really struggling and sometimes I think about not wanting to be here anymore.”
    • “I need to tell you something difficult: I’ve been thinking about suicide.”

    Express Your Feelings: Even if you don’t mention suicide at first

    • “I feel completely overwhelmed / hopeless / trapped / empty.”
    • “The pain is so intense, I don’t know how to cope.”
    • “I feel like a burden to everyone around me.”
    • “I just want the pain to stop.”

    Ask for What You Need: (If you know)

    • “I just need you to listen.”
    • “I need help finding a therapist or doctor.”
    • “Can you stay with me for a bit?”
    • “I don’t know what I need but I just needed to tell someone.”

    If you’re worried about being a burden:

    • “I know this is a heavy thing to hear but I feel like I can trust you and I really need to talk.”
    • “I’m struggling and I’m choosing to reach out because I believe you care.”
    • “If this is to much for you, please help me find someone know can help me.”

    What to Expect and What Comes Next:

    A Range of Reactions

    People might react in different ways: some might be calm and immediately supportive, others might seem shocked, scared or even unsure what to say.

    Remember, their reaction is about their own feelings and fears, not about you or your worth. Your job is to communicate, not manage their emotions.

    Relief (Often Immediate)

    Many people report an immediate sense of relief once they’ve spoken about their suicidal thoughts.

    The weight of secrecy can be immense and lifting it is a powerful first step.

    Steps Towards Support and Help

    • Listening: The person you talk to should primarily listen without judgment.
    • Connecting to help: They should help you connect with a professional.
    • Safety Planning: A professional will likely help you create a safety plan – a personalised guide for coping with suicidal thoughts and what to do when they arise.
    • Ongoing Support: This is not a one-time conversation. Healing is a process and ongoing support from professionals and loved ones is vital.

    Confidentiality (and when it might be broken)

    Mental health professionals and Crisis Support Services maintain strict confidentiality.

    However, if you express an immediate plan to harm yourself or others, they are legally obligated to take steps to ensure safety which may involve informing emergency services.

    This is not to punish you but to keep you safe.

    It’s Okay if You Don’t Feel Better Immediately

    Talking is the first step, not a magical cure. You might still feel pain but now you’ll have support and a path towards healing.

    Be patient and compassionate with yourself throughout this process.

    Conclusion: Your Journey Towards Healing Starts Now

    The act of speaking about your suicidal thoughts is a profound act of self-preservation and courage. It’s the first step on a journey towards understanding your pain, finding effective coping strategies and ultimately, reclaiming your life from the grip of despair.

    Healing is a process and it will take time. There will be good days and bad days but every time you reach out, every time you talk, you are choosing life. You are choosing hope. Hold onto that truth.

    You are valued. You are worthy of help and you are not alone. Please, choose to talk. Your life is worth fighting for and there are people ready and waiting to fight alongside you.

    Immediate Support & Resources

    In an emergency, call 999.

    If you or someone else is experiencing a mental health crisis, visit our Urgent Help page to find the right help at the right time.

    For coping strategies and additional resources, visit the Resource Hub.

    Find out How to Recover After a Suicide Attempt.

    Find out How to Support Someone Who is Having Suicidal Thoughts.

    NHS 111 (Select Mental Health Option)

    • Call: 111 and select the mental health option (Option 2 in some areas).
    • What it’s for: Urgent mental health support, advice and connection to local crisis services. This is a primary point of contact if you’re experiencing a mental health crisis but are not in immediate physical danger.
    • Note: If you are deaf or have hearing loss, use NHS 111 – SignVideo or dial 18001 111 (for Textphone).

    Samaritans

    • Call: 116 123 (Free, 24/7)
    • Email: jo@samaritans.org (Response within 24 hours)
    • What it’s for: Confidential emotional support for anyone experiencing feelings of distress, despair or suicidal thoughts.

    Shout Crisis Text Line

    • Text: Send the word “SHOUT” to 85258 (Free, 24/7)
    • What it’s for: Confidential text-based support if you’re in crisis and need immediate help.

    PAPYRUS HOPELINE247

    • Call: 0800 068 4141 (Free, 24/7)
    • Text: 88247 (Free, 24/7)
    • Email: pat@papyrus-uk.org
    • What it’s for: Support for young people (under 35) struggling with suicidal feelings or anyone concerned about a young person who might be struggling.

    Childline

    • Call: 0800 1111 (The number won’t appear on your phone bill)
    • What it’s for: Free, confidential support for children and young people.

  • What is Emotional Support?

    Understanding Emotional Support

    In times of difficulty, stress, or crisis, having someone to listen to your feelings can make all the difference. This “listening” often comes in the form of emotional support. But what exactly is emotional support and why is it so crucial, especially when discussing suicide prevention?

    Emotional support refers to the comfort, reassurance and understanding that we receive from others. It’s about feeling heard, validated and cared for by people in our lives. It’s a fundamental human need that contributes significantly to our mental health and wellbeing.

    What Does Emotional Support Look Like?

    Emotional support isn’t a single action; it’s a collection of behaviours and attitudes that convey care and understanding. It can manifest in various ways, including:

    • Active Listening: Genuinely paying attention to what someone is saying without judgment, interruption or trying to fix their problems immediately. It’s about letting them express themselves fully.
    • Validation of Feelings: Acknowledging and accepting someone’s emotions even if you don’t fully understand or agree with their perspective.
    • Empathy and Compassion: Trying to understand and share the feelings of another person. It’s about connecting on a human level and showing genuine concern for their wellbeing.
    • Presence and Availability: Simply being there for someone, whether in person, over the phone or through messages. Knowing that someone is available to listen or just sit with you can provide immense comfort.
    • Offering Reassurance (When Appropriate): Providing words of comfort and hope, letting someone know they are not alone and that things can get better. This should be done gently and without minimising their concerns.
    • Practical Help (If Needed and Offered): Sometimes, emotional support can also involve offering practical assistance like helping with daily tasks, if it eases their burden. However, the primary focus remains emotional connection and interaction.
    • Non-Judgmental Attitude: Creating a safe space where someone feels they can share their thoughts and feelings without fear of criticism, blame or dismissal.

    ✋ Are you struggling right now?

    If you or someone else is feeling unsafe or experiencing suicidal thinking, please visit the Urgent Help page now to find what actions you need to take.

    Why is Emotional Support so Important for Mental Wellbeing?

    Emotional support plays a vital role in maintaining good mental health and can be a protective factor against suicidal thoughts. Here’s why:

    • Reduces Feelings of Isolation: Loneliness and isolation are significant risk factors for poor mental health. Emotional support combats these feelings by fostering connection and reminding the person that they are not alone.
    • Promotes Sense of Belonging: Feeling connected to others and having a sense of belonging can provide purpose and meaning which are crucial protective factors for mental wellbeing.
    • Validates Experiences: When someone feels heard and their pain is acknowledged, it can prevent feelings of invalidation and hopelessness. It shows them that their struggles are real and worthy of attention.
    • Builds Coping Strategies: Having a supportive network can help individuals develop their own coping strategies to better manage their mental health and other challenges. They can learn from others and feel more equipped to face difficulties as they arise.
    • Encourages Help-Seeking: Knowing that there are people who care can make it easier for individuals to reach out for professional help when they need it, reducing the stigma associated with mental health challenges.
    • Provides a Safety Net: For individuals struggling with suicidal thoughts, emotional support can act as a critical safety net, offering a reason to hold on and reminding them of their self-worth.

    Where Can You Find Emotional Support?

    Picking people you can trust to discuss your needs openly builds the foundations for self-development. Emotional support can come from various places, including:

    • Friends and Family: Often our first line of defense, close friends and family members can provide invaluable comfort and understanding.
    • Partners: Intimate relationships can be a significant source of emotional support and sharing.
    • Support Groups: Connecting with others who have similar experiences can create a powerful sense of community and shared understanding.

    Chronic Pain Peer-Support Group 👥

    Our online Support Group is a safe space for sharing and learning from our collective experiences of Chronic Pain, Illness & FND. Places still available!

    Apply today 📝
    • Community Organisations: Many local and national organisations offer support services and connection opportunities with others.
    • Helplines: These services provide immediate, confidential emotional support from trained professionals and volunteers.
    • Mental Health Professionals: Therapists, counsellors and other mental health experts can provide structured emotional support and help develop coping strategies.

    Offering Emotional Support to Others: Key Considerations

    If you are looking to offer emotional support to someone, remember to:

    • Listen More Than You Talk: Focus on understanding their perspective.
    • Avoid Giving Unsolicited Advice: Unless asked, focus on listening and validating.
    • Be Patient: Healing and coping takes time.
    • Take Care of Yourself: Supporting others can be emotionally draining. Ensure you have your own support system.
    • Know When to Encourage Professional Help: While your support is valuable, sometimes professional intervention is necessary.

    Conclusion

    Emotional support is a powerful tool for wellbeing and a critical component for preventing suicide. By understanding what it is, how it works and where to find it (or offer it), we can all contribute to a more compassionate and supportive society where everyone feels seen, heard and valued.

    What Mental Health?

    Mental health, like physical health, is fundamental to our overall wellbeing. It shapes our thoughts, feelings, and actions, enabling us to navigate life’s challenges, form strong relationships and thrive in our communities.

    What is Wellbeing?

    Wellbeing is the state of being comfortable, healthy, or happy. When we want to improve our physical or mental health, we do this by improving our overall wellness or wellbeing.

    Immediate Support & Resources

    In an emergency, call 999.

    If you or someone else is experiencing a mental health crisis, visit our Urgent Help page to find the right help at the right time.

    For coping strategies and additional resources, visit the Resource Hub.

    Find ways on How to Talk About Suicidal Thoughts.

    Find out How to Support Someone Who is Having Suicidal Thoughts.

    NHS 111 (Select Mental Health Option)

    • Call: 111 and select the mental health option (Option 2 in some areas).
    • What it’s for: Urgent mental health support, advice and connection to local crisis services. This is a primary point of contact if you’re experiencing a mental health crisis but are not in immediate physical danger.
    • Note: If you are deaf or have hearing loss, use NHS 111 – SignVideo or dial 18001 111 (for Textphone).

    Samaritans

    • Call: 116 123 (Free, 24/7)
    • Email: jo@samaritans.org (Response within 24 hours)
    • What it’s for: Confidential emotional support for anyone experiencing feelings of distress, despair or suicidal thoughts.

    Shout Crisis Text Line

    • Text: Send the word “SHOUT” to 85258 (Free, 24/7)
    • What it’s for: Confidential text-based support if you’re in crisis and need immediate help.

    PAPYRUS HOPELINE247

    • Call: 0800 068 4141 (Free, 24/7)
    • Text: 88247 (Free, 24/7)
    • Email: pat@papyrus-uk.org
    • What it’s for: Support for young people (under 35) struggling with suicidal feelings or anyone concerned about a young person who might be struggling.

    Childline

    • Call: 0800 1111 (The number won’t appear on your phone bill)
    • What it’s for: Free, confidential support for children and young people.