This guide will walk you through what to say to someone who is suicidal over text or message.
It is difficult to receive a text or message when you know the person on the other side is in great distress. This can put a lot of pressure on you.
We will help you understand how to be a lifeline in this moment and how to engage professional support if needed.
Remember, you don’t need to be perfect in this situation. Being present and willing to listen and respond to difficult messages is brave enough.
Proven Basics That Work
- Take them seriously. Any expression of suicidal thoughts deserves care and attention.
- Lead with empathy, not solutions. Listening comes before fixing.
- Be calm and non-judgmental. Your tone can help reduce distress.
- Encourage connection to help. You can support them and help them access professional care.
What to Say: Supportive Messages That Help
Use your own words but these examples can help get you started on a reply.
1. Acknowledge their pain
Let them know you hear and believe them.
- “I’m really glad you told me. It sounds incredibly painful.”
- “I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m here with you.”
- “That sounds overwhelming. Thank you for trusting me.”
2. Invite them to share more
Open-ended questions help them feel less alone.
- “Do you want to tell me what’s been going on?”
- “What’s been the hardest so far today?”
- “When did these feelings start?”
3. Validate without agreeing with hopelessness
You can validate feelings without validating the idea that things can’t change.
- “Given everything you’ve been dealing with, it makes sense you feel this way.”
- “I hear how exhausted you are. Anyone in your situation would struggle.”
4. Express care and presence
Remind them they matter to you.
- “I care about you and I’m glad you’re here.”
- “You’re not a burden for talking about this to me.”
- “I’m here to listen as long as you need.”
5. Gently check on safety
Asking directly does not put ideas in someone’s head. You need clarity.
- “Are you feeling safe right now?”
- “Have you had thoughts about hurting yourself today?”
- “Are you self-harming at the moment?”
If they say they’re in danger or you’re unsure, move to the “When to seek urgent help” section below 👇
6. Encourage support and next steps
Offer help connecting to others or professionals.
- “Would you be open to reaching out to someone who can help right now?”
- “Is there someone you trust who could be with you?”
- “We could look at options together — like a helpline or text service.”
Mental Health Resources
We provide free and open-source content to help you improve your mental health and wellbeing in a clear and structured way.
What Not to Say (And Why)
Certain responses, even when well-intended, can feel dismissive or increase shame. This increases risk.
- “Everything happens for a reason.” Can minimise their pain.
- “Others have it worse.” Comparisons invalidate feelings.
- “Just stay positive.” Oversimplifies difficult feelings.
- “You should…” or “Have you tried…” Advice can feel overwhelming very early on.
- Threats or guilt: “Your family would be devastated.” This can increase pressure.
When to Seek Urgent Help
If the person:
- Says they are in immediate danger
- Has a plan or intent to harm themselves
- Stops responding after expressing risk
Act quickly. Encourage them to contact emergency services or a crisis line.
- If you know their location and believe they’re in immediate danger, contact their local emergency services yourself and explain the conversation you have had with them.
You can text them something like:
- “I’m really worried about you. I think getting immediate help could keep you safe. Can we contact [a helpline / emergency services] together?”
Mental Health Forum
The Community Mental Health Forum is a safe space to discuss, share and make meaningful connections through peer-to-peer online support.
If They Don’t Want Help
Resistance is common. Stay compassionate and keep the door open.
- “I get that reaching out feels hard. I’m still here with you.”
- “What would make it feel even a little safer right now?”
- “Would it help to just sit together on text for a bit?”
After The Conversation, Take Care of You
Supporting someone in crisis can be emotionally draining.
- Check in with a trusted friend or professional. Make sure you speak to someone too.
- Set gentle boundaries if you’re feeling overwhelmed. It’s okay to arrange future conversations rather than messages popping out of the blue.
- Remember: you didn’t cause their pain, and you can’t fix it alone.
âś‹ Are you struggling right now?
If you or someone else is feeling unsafe or experiencing suicidal thinking, please visit the Urgent Help page now to find what actions you need to take.
Final thoughts
Your willingness to listen can make a real difference.
Even simple, caring messages can help someone feel less isolated in their darkest moments.
If you’re ever unsure what to do, reaching out for professional guidance — for them or for yourself — is a strong and caring step.
Immediate Support & Resources
In an emergency, call 999.
If you or someone else is experiencing a mental health crisis, visit our Urgent Help page to find the right help at the right time.
For coping strategies and additional resources, visit the Resource Hub.
Find ways on How to Talk About Suicidal Thoughts.
Find out How to Support Someone Who is Having Suicidal Thoughts.
NHS 111 (Select Mental Health Option)
- Call: 111 and select the mental health option (Option 2 in some areas).
- What it’s for: Urgent mental health support, advice and connection to local crisis services. This is a primary point of contact if you’re experiencing a mental health crisis but are not in immediate physical danger.
- Note: If you are deaf or have hearing loss, use NHS 111 – SignVideo or dial 18001 111 (for Textphone).
Samaritans
- Call: 116 123 (Free, 24/7)
- Email: jo@samaritans.org (Response within 24 hours)
- What it’s for: Confidential emotional support for anyone experiencing feelings of distress, despair or suicidal thoughts.
Shout Crisis Text Line
- Text: Send the word “SHOUT” to 85258 (Free, 24/7)
- What it’s for: Confidential text-based support if you’re in crisis and need immediate help.
PAPYRUS HOPELINE247
- Call: 0800 068 4141 (Free, 24/7)
- Text: 88247 (Free, 24/7)
- Email: pat@papyrus-uk.org
- What it’s for: Support for young people (under 35) struggling with suicidal feelings or anyone concerned about a young person who might be struggling.