How to Talk About Suicidal Thoughts?

Why Talking About It: Helps!

• Breaking the Isolation: Suicidal thoughts thrive in secrecy. Talking about them immediately disrupts that isolation. It lets light into the darkness and reminds you that you are connected to others who cares.
• Validation and Understanding: When you voice your pain, it becomes real and valid. It allows others to acknowledge your suffering and respond with empathy, which can be incredibly relieving.
• Accessing Life-Saving Help: Talking opens the door to professional help – therapists, doctors, crisis support – who have the expertise and resources to help you navigate these intense feelings and build a path forward.
• Releasing the Burden: Holding onto suicidal thoughts can be incredibly heavy. Sharing them, even just a little, can provide a significant sense of relief, like taking a huge weight off your shoulders.
• Dispelling Myths: Many people worry that talking about suicide will make it worse or “give someone the idea”. For the person experiencing suicidal thoughts, this worry can be reversed: you might fear that talking about it will burden others or lead to judgment. The opposite is true. Open communication is proven to reduce risk and lead to recovery.

Before You Talk: Prepare for the Conversation

Understand that this is one of the hardest things you might ever do, and that makes your willingness to consider it, incredibly brave. Give yourself credit.

There’s no ‘perfect’ time, but choose a moment when you feel a tiny bit of readiness to share, even if it’s just a flicker of hope. You don’t have to be ‘okay’ to talk; you just need to be willing to try.

What You Don’t Need to Do:

• Have all the answers: You don’t need to explain why you feel this way or have a solution. Just sharing the feelings can be enough.
• Be articulate or eloquent: You don’t need perfect words. Short, honest statements are powerful.
• Worry about ‘burdening’ someone: People who care about you want to know and want to help. Your wellbeing and safety is not a burden.

• Consider What You Want: What do you need in this moment? To be listened to? To feel less alone? To find professional help? Having a loose idea can help guide you, but it’s okay if you just want to talk.
• Write it Down (Optional but Helpful): If speaking feels too difficult, consider writing down what you want to say in a note, text, or email. This can make the initial step less daunting.

Who Can You Talk to About Suicidal Thoughts?

It’s about finding someone safe, empathetic and willing to listen and help you.

Crisis Hotlines & Emergency Services (Anonymous and Immediate Support):

• When to use: If you are feeling overwhelmed right now and need to talk immediately, or if you have a plan and intend to act on it. These services are available 24/7, are confidential, and are staffed by trained professionals and volunteers.
• They are trained: They know how to listen and guide you without judgment.
• They are anonymous: You don’t have to reveal your identity if you don’t want them too.

Trusted Friends or Family Members:

• Think about: Who in your life makes you feel safe? Who has shown you consistent kindness and empathy?
• Consider their capacity: While they care, they might not know exactly what to do or say. Your role is to share your feelings, and their role is to listen and support you in finding help.

Mental Health Professionals (Therapists, Counsellors, Psychiatrists):

• They are experts: They are specifically trained to help people with suicidal thoughts.
• Confidentiality: What you share with them is generally confidential (with exceptions for immediate danger).
• They can help you develop coping strategies and a safety plan.

Your GP or Doctor:

• First point of contact: Your GP can be a great first step. They can listen, assess your needs, and refer you to specialist mental health services, medication or talking therapy.
• Familiarity: You might already have a relationship with your GP, making it feel safer to share.

Spiritual or Community Leader:

• If you have a strong connection to a faith or community, a trusted leader might provide compassionate listening and guidance.

Conversing Care:

• We offer emotional support for anyone struggling with their mental health or wellbeing. We also support those experiencing a mental health crisis, including self-harm or suicidal thoughts.
• As a team, we achieve this through compassionate communication, practical tools, and a consistent approach.
• We respond within 24 hours, 365 days a year. We will get to know you and your problems, and help you begin to make positive change.

What to Say: Finding the Words

You don’t need fancy words. Honesty and simplicity is powerful.

Be Direct (Using the word “suicide” is okay):

• “I’ve been having suicidal thoughts.”
• “I’m feeling so much pain that I’ve been thinking about ending my life.”
• “I’m really struggling and sometimes I think about not wanting to be here anymore.”
• “I need to tell you something difficult: I’ve been thinking about suicide.”

Express Your Feelings (Even if you don’t mention suicide directly at first):

• “I feel completely overwhelmed / hopeless / trapped / empty.”
• “The pain is so intense, I don’t know how to cope.”
• “I feel like a burden to everyone around me.”
• “I just want the pain to stop.”

Ask for What You Need (If you know it):

• “I just need you to listen.”
• “I need help finding a therapist or doctor.”
• “Can you stay with me for a bit?”
• “I don’t know what I need but I just needed to tell someone.”

If you’re worried about burdening them:

• “I know this is a heavy thing to hear but I feel like I can trust you and I really need to talk.”
• “I’m struggling and I’m choosing to reach out because I believe you care.”

What to Expect and What Comes Next:

• A Range of Reactions: People might react in different ways: some might be calm and immediately supportive, others might seem shocked, scared, or even unsure what to say. Remember, their reaction is about their own feelings and fears, not about you or your worth. Your job is to communicate, not manage their emotions.
• Relief (Often Immediate): Many people report an immediate sense of relief once they’ve spoken about their suicidal thoughts. The weight of secrecy can be immense and lifting it is a powerful first step.
• Steps Towards Support:
  • Listening: The person you talk to should primarily listen without judgment.
  • Connecting to help: They should help you connect with professional resources (hotlines, doctors, therapists).
  • Safety Planning: A professional will likely help you create a safety plan – a personalised guide for coping with suicidal thoughts and what to do when they arise.
  • Ongoing Support: This is not a one-time conversation. Healing is a process and ongoing support from professionals and loved ones is vital.
• Confidentiality (and when it might be broken): Mental health professionals and Crisis Support Services maintain strict confidentiality. However, if you express an immediate plan to harm yourself or others, they are legally obligated to take steps to ensure safety which may involve informing emergency services. This is not to punish you but to keep you safe.
• It’s Okay to Not Feel Better Instantly: Talking is the first step, not a magical cure. You might still feel pain but now you’ll have support and a path towards healing. Be patient and compassionate with yourself throughout this process.

If You’re Feeling Suicidal or About to Act on it:

STOP. Take a deep breath. You’re not alone. Help is available immediately.

• Call 999 or go to your nearest hospital A&E department.
• Call a Crisis Hotline:
  • Samaritans: Call 116 123 (Free, 24/7, Nationwide)
  • Papyrus HOPELINE247 (for under 35s): Call 0800 068 41 41 | Text 88247 | Email pat@papyrus-uk.org (Free, 24/7, Nationwide)
  • CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably – for men): Call 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight, 365 days a year, Nationwide)
  • SHOUT: Text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258 (Free, 24/7, Nationwide)
• Tell someone nearby: A friend, family member, colleague or teacher.
• Stay safe: If possible, remove any means of harm from your immediate surroundings.
• Set up a conversation with us: We can help you on the journey of accessing support and improving your overall wellbeing. You can contact us to arrange to speak to one of our trained volunteers within 24-hours, 365 days a year.

Additional Support & Resources:

• Mind (UK Mental Health Charity): Provides information and support on mental health problems.
• Your Local NHS Mental Health Services: Search online for “NHS mental health services (in your local area)” for local crisis teams and support.
• Conversing Care Resource Hub: We provide basic mental health resources and coping strategies online anyone can use to better their wellbeing.

Conclusion: Your Journey Towards Healing Starts Now

The act of speaking about your suicidal thoughts is a profound act of self-preservation and courage. It’s the first step on a journey towards understanding your pain, finding effective coping strategies and ultimately, reclaiming your life from the grip of despair.

Healing is a process and it will take time. There will be good days and bad days but every time you reach out, every time you talk, you are choosing life. You are choosing hope. Hold onto that truth.

You are valued. You are worthy of help. And you are not alone. Please, choose to talk. Your life is worth fighting for and there are people ready and waiting to fight alongside you.

Notes:

This article has been carefully reviewed and developed in consultation with mental health professionals and individuals with lived experience of mental health recovery, prioritising safety, empathy and evidence-based guidance.

Date last reviewed: 12/06/2025